The United States is nearly 17 trillion dollars in debt, the national unemployment rate is more than 7%, and one in seven Americans is on food stamps. But fixing those problems is just so darn hard! So several politicians in Washington DC have decided to spend their time creating tattoo regulations.

DC’s Health Department is aggressively pushing to instate a mandatory 24-hour waiting period for all individuals looking to get a tattoo in the District. The waiting period would mandate that “no tattoo artist applies any tattoo to a customer until after twenty-four hours have passed since the customer first requested the tattoo.”

Officials from the Department say the regulation would prevent “serious health risks.”

A spokeswoman for the Department of Health, Najma Roberts, thinks that the new rules would prevent individuals from making stupid decisions while they are intoxicated.

She said, “They can’t be responsible for themselves, as well as the person doing the work on them. We’re making sure when that decision is made that you’re in the right frame of mind, and you don’t wake up in the morning . . . saying, ‘Oh my God, what happened?’”

Tattoo shop owners, however, say the proposed regulations unfairly target their industry and would hurt business.

Paul Roe, a tattoo parlor owner in DC, said “Why not 24 hours’ waiting time before shaving your head?” The new rules are “honestly ridiculous” he claimed.

Gilda Acosta, a tattoo artist, said, “It would definitely be a direct hit to my income if I couldn’t tattoo people who come in and want work done on the same day.”

Good grief.

America is supposed to be the Land of the Free. If people want to make poor choices regarding their own bodies, they should be allowed to. In a free country, government cannot dictate lifestyle choices, nor can it become the overprotective mommy and daddy of its citizens. Freedom means having the right to make bad choices and then deal with the consequences ourselves.